the $ickest rap eva

with midterms fast approaching (my first one is on wednesday), the ever-present need for procrastination techniques has reached a new zenith. last week, while in a review session for my resource management class, my friend and i began writing raps so we could engage each other in a rap battle and also so we could make life harder for ourselves when we would try and fail to remember what our teacher said in the review. anyway, this here is the fruit of many hours spent in resource management trying to think of words that rhyme with "caicos." thank goodness i took a marine ecology class this semester, because those scientific names come in handy when rhyming, especially when your name is "maria." it's apparent that my resource management class has been supes valuable, because it has allowed me to finally fulfill my dream of starting my rapping career. now i just need to work on my street cred.....i'm accepting suggestions. 

the $ickest rap eva

born in the state of evergreen

not the tallest rapper you've ever seen

but i've been spitting game since i was a preteen 

catching rhymes in my mouth like a i'm baleen 

whale yo 

my old man said it's better to be lucky than good 

and i took that to heart just as soon as i could,

walking down the street in my neighborhood

five foot one is what i stood 

falling asleep before midnight every night

got that sleep on lock like a madreporite*

you're quite a sight trying to kiss me goodnight 

but sit tight, stay upright, international flight 

to the turks and caicos 

who knows where the time goes

i know how to make those

three-pointers like kevin pangos* 

spitting poetry and prose

way too real to pose

heyyy yo

i'm swimming underwater

i'm a spiny lobster

pledging allegiance to my father 

climbing without a spotter

echinodermata*

meet me at the regatta

holla

i got those killer chromosomes

never comatose 

tripneustes ventricosus*

i'm so sharp 

i'm so cold he calls me fria 

so hot i'm a tortilla 

got that sting like cassiopea*

i'm freakin' maria

heyyy

some helpful notes:

*madreporite: part of the tube foot in echinoderms which controls water entering the water vascular system
*kevin pangos: super sick gonzaga basketball player

*echinodermata: phylum of marina invertebrates, including sea stars, sea cucumbers, and sand dollars

*tripneustes ventricosus: scientific name for the west indian sea egg, or a sea urchin found in the turks and caicos

*cassiopea: genus of upside-down jellyfish 

ps. how do people think i'd look with grills?